I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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