i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
