So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
