Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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