Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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