If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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