I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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