So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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