We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I think your dad took our porno
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
