I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
