I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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