i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
