never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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