Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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