i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
