called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
