I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
pop tarts are not kleenex
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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