I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
