Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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