you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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