fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
