The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
