I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
