I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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