She went from zero to smokin in five shots
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
