you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
