Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm bleeding and have questions
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize