I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
