is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
