can u get pink eye on your cock?
This house was built for laser tag.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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