I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
