just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
