On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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