Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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