Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
