id be glad to
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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