that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize