Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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