I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
