I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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