Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
