oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
