due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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