I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
