oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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