Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize