I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
