I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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