Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
