I have demons in me.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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