ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
