The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
