I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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