its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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