Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
