marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
