Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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