i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
