He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I will be naked everywhere
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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