There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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