wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
